Monday, February 23, 2009

My own personal universe.


The Universe. What does it mean? Man will never know.

I recently (read: today) obtained a book from my local lending library outlining all the wonders and beautifulness of the universe entitled Universe: The Definitive Visual Guide. The universe's tell-all memoir about the numero uno place where everything that physically exists exists.

But Stan I remember reading somewhere that there could be as many as several universes in existence. So what makes this one so special?

Excellent question.

I have compiled a short list of why our universe is so special based on scientific facts gathered from my research using the illustrated book mentioned above:

1) The universe was decorated by God. That's right the universe is Gods Christmas tree. A big gaudy spectacle of lights and spherical ornaments arranged in such a way as to evoke awe and wonder in even the most hard hearted of celestial scrooges. Not to mention it contains the milky way. Mmm...Sounds delicious.

2) It contains space. How badass is space? Nobody can argue with that one.

3) The universe is so big that not even a Galapagos tortoise could make it to the other side before it died. Now that's big.

4) Jesus lived here for nearly 34 years. They wrote a book about it. It was called the Totally new Adventures of Jesus Christ.

5) When something can do anything they say it's universal. Think about it.

6) America is located here and America is like a really arrogant shark in captivity that would only thrive in the most technologically advanced universe available. If the universe was not the most ideal environment in, well, the universe, America would die.


And that's about it. I just want to give a big shout out to Issac Newton for inventing Math and Urbain Le Verrier for discovering irregularities in Uranus. Peace.


Urbain Le Verrier

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